DATE=5/25/99 TYPE=ENGLISH PROGRAMS FEATURE NUMBER=7-32084 TITLE=EUPHEMISTIC WASHINGTON, WITH GEORGE CARLIN BYLINE=KEMING KUO TELEPHONE=619-0936 DATELINE=WASHINGTON EDITOR=NANCY SMART INTRO: GEORGE CARLIN IS BEST KNOWN TO MANY AMERICANS AS THE COMEDIAN WHOSE "SEVEN FILTHY WORDS" BROADCAST WAS DECLARED "INDECENT" BY THE UNITED STATES SUPREME COURT. BUT TIMES HAVE CHANGED. A QUARTER OF A CENTURY LATER, GEORGE CARLIN WAS INVITED TO SPEAK BEFORE THE AUGUST NATIONAL PRESS CLUB -- LOCATED JUST A COUPLE OF KILOMETERS FROM THE NATION'S HIGHEST COURT. AND MR. CARLIN, WHO JUST TURNED 62, WASN'T ABOUT TO REGALE HIS AUDIENCE WITH ANY FOUR-LETTER WORDS. INSTEAD, HE KEPT HIS AUDIENCE LAUGHING ABOUT THE UNIQUE EUPHEMISMS UTTERED BY OFFICIAL WASHINGTON. ____________ HAS MORE. TEXT: GEORGE CARLIN WAS INTRODUCED TO HIS AUDIENCE OF JOURNALISTS AS HAVING THE SKILLS OF A REPORTER -- SINCE HIS COMEDY MONOLOGUES ARE FULL OF SKEPTICISM AND PERCEPTIVE QUESTIONS ABOUT LIFE. TWO YEARS AGO, MR. CARLIN'S SKILL AS A WORDSMITH WAS DEMONSTRATED IN HIS BOOK "BRAIN DROPPINGS," WHICH WAS ON THE NEW YORK TIMES BEST SELLER LIST FOR 38 WEEKS. AND YET, GEORGE CARLIN -- DRESSED IN ALL-BLACK AND WITH HIS HAIR TIED IN A PONYTAIL -- STILL WAS REMINISCENT LOOKED LIKE SOMEONE FROM THE BEATNIK ERA OR HIS POPULAR CHARACTER, THE HIPPY DIPPY WEATHERMAN. SO MR. CARLIN REASSURED HIS AUDIENCE THAT HE WAS AT THE PRESS CLUB JUST TO TALK ABOUT WORDS -- AND NOT TO EXPOUND ON ANY CAUSE. TAPE: CUT ONE -- CARLIN :29 "I'M NOT HERE TO ADVANCE ANY POLITICAL, SOCIAL OR ENVIRONMENTAL CAUSE. I AM, IN FACT, BLESSEDLY AGENDA-FREE. I DON'T WANT TO SAVE THE RIVER. I DON'T WANT TO SAVE THE BAY. I DON'T WANT TO SAVE THE CANYON, THE WHALE, THE WETLANDS, THE RAINFOREST, OR THE FLYING, SPOTTED DWARF SOMETHING-OR-OTHER. I DON'T WANT TO SAVE THE CHILDREN, ABOVE ALL. (LAUGHTER & APPLAUSE) FRANKLY, I DON'T CARE ABOUT MANY OF THOSE THINGS. BETWEEN YOU AND ME, THOSE BATTLES WERE LOST A LONG TIME AGO." TEXT: FOR THE RECORD, GEORGE CARLIN DOES SAYS HE'S IN FAVOR OF FRIENDSHIP, FAMILY TIES AND ROMANTIC LOVE. HE THEN TURNED HIS ATTENTION TO THE EUPHEMISMS AND OBLIQUE LANGUAGE FAVORED BY POLITICIANS AND LAWYERS. MR. CARLIN EXPLAINED TO HIS AUDIENCE THAT THESE OBSCURE TERMS AND PHRASES ARE USED TO AVOID SAYING ANYTHING SUBSTANTIVE. TAPE: CUT TWO -- CARLIN :53 "THEY DON'T ACTUALLY SAY THINGS. THEY INDICATE THEM: 'AS I INDICATED YESTERDAY, AND AS THE PRESIDENT INDICATED TO ME ... ' SOMETIMES THEY DON'T INDICATE; THEY SUGGEST: 'LET ME SUGGEST, AS I INDICATED YESTERDAY ... I HAVEN'T DETERMINED THAT YET.' THEY DON'T DECIDE; THEY DETERMINE. IF IT'S A REALLY SERIOUS MATTER, THEY MAKE A JUDGMENT: 'I HAVEN'T MADE A JUDGMENT ON THAT. WHEN THE HEARINGS HAVE CONCLUDED, I WILL MAKE A JUDGMENT OR I MIGHT MAKE AN ASSESSMENT. I'M NOT SURE; I HAVEN'T DETERMINED THAT YET. BUT WHEN I DO, I'LL ADVISE YOU.' THEY DON'T TELL, THEY ADVISE: 'I ADVISED HIM THAT I HAD MADE A JUDGMENT. THUS FAR, HE HASN'T RESPONDED.' THEY DON'T ANSWER; THEY RESPOND: 'HE HASN'T RESPONDED TO MY INTIATIVE ...' AN INITIATIVE IS AN IDEA THAT ISN'T GOING ANYWHERE." [LAUGHTER] TEXT: [OPT] GEORGE CARLIN ADDED THAT WHEN LEGISLATION IS DELAYED OR A PROJECT IS TAKING TOO LONG, SOME MORE TERMS COME INTO USE: TAPE: CUT THREE -- CARLIN :43 [IN FULL TO :40, FADE LAUGHTER UNDER TEXT:] "THAT'S A BIG ACTIVITY IN WASHINGTON: PROCEEDING. THEY'RE ALWAYS PROCEEDING OR MOVING FORWARD. A LOT OF THAT GOES ON: 'SENATOR, HAVE YOU SOLVED THAT PROBLEM? WELL, WE'RE MOVING FORWARD ON THAT.' AND WHEN THEY'RE NOT MOVING FORWARD, THEY'RE MOVING SOMETHING ELSE FORWARD ... SUCH AS THE PROCESS: 'WE HAVE TO MOVE THE PROCESS FORWARD SO WE CAN IMPLEMENT THE PROVISIONS OF THE INITIATIVE IN ORDER TO MEET THESE CHALLENGES.' NO ONE HAS PROBLEMS ANYMORE. CHALLENGES. THAT'S WHY WE NEED PEOPLE WHO CAN MAKE THE TOUGH DECISIONS. TOUGH DECISIONS LIKE: 'HOW MUCH SOFT MONEY CAN I EXPECT TO COLLECT IN EXCHANGE FOR MY CORE VALUES?'" [:03 LAUGHTER] [END OPT] TEXT: MR. CARLINE SAYS THE ADVENT OF A POLITICAL SCANDAL OR WRONGDOING CALLS FOR YET ANOTHER SET OF EUPHEMISMS. TAPE: CUT FOUR -- CARLIN :43 "WHEN THEY'RE IN TROUBLE, THEIR EXPLANATIONS USUALLY BEGIN SIMPLY WITH WORDS LIKE MISCOMMUNICATION: 'WHAT DID YOU DO WRONG, SENATOR? WELL, IT WAS A MISCOMMUNICATION.' OR: 'I WAS QUOTED OUT OF CONTEXT.' BETTER YET, AND MORE IRONIC, 'THEY TWISTED MY WORDS.' SUCH A NICE TOUCH. A PERSON WHO ROUTINELY SPENDS HIS DAYS TORTURING THE LANGUAGE COMPLAINS; 'THEY TWISTED MY WORDS.' [LAUGHTER] THEN, AS THE CONTROVERSY CONTINUES TO HEAT UP, HE MOVES TO HIS NEXT LEVEL OF COMPLAINT: 'THE WHOLE THING HAS BEEN BLOWN OUT OF PROPORTION.' IT'S ALWAYS THE WHOLE THING. APPARENTLY NO ONE HAS EVER CLAIMED THAT A SMALL PORTION OF SOMETHING WAS BLOWN OUT OF PROPORTION. IT HAS TO BE THE WHOLE THING." TEXT: [OPT] GEORGE CARLIN CONTINUED ENTERTAINING THE NATIONAL PRESS CLUB AUDIENCE WITH MANY OTHER EXAMPLES OF TORTURED USE OF EUPHEMISMS -- CONCLUDING THAT THEIR USE CONTINUES UNTIL THE VERY END ... TAPE: CUT FIVE -- CARLIN :37 "AND WE CAN'T REALLY DISCUSS EUPHEMISMS IF WE DON'T MENTION THAT FINAL TABOO, DEATH. IT USED TO BE WHEN AN OLD PERSON DIED, THE UNDERTAKER PUT HIM IN A COFFIN AND SENT FLOWERS TO THE FUNERAL HOME, WHERE THEY HELD A WAKE. THEN, AFTER THE FUNERAL, THEY DROVE THE DEAD PERSON IN A HEARSE TO THE CEMETERY, AND HIS BODY WAS BURIED IN A GRAVE. NOW, WHEN A SENIOR CITIZEN PASSES AWAY, THE MORTICIAN PLACES HIM IN A BURIAL CONTAINER AND WE SEND FLORAL TRIBUTES TO THE SLUMBER ROOM, WHERE THE GRIEF COORDINATOR SUPERVISES THE VIEWING. AFTER THE MEMORIAL SERVICE, THE FUNERAL COACH TRANSPORTS THE DEPARTED TO THE GARDEN OF REMEMBERANCE WHERE HIS REMAINS ARE INTERRED IN HIS FINAL RESTING PLACE." [END OPT] TEXT: COMEDIAN GEORGE CARLIN, DISCUSSING THE USE OF EUPHEMISTIC LANGUAGE -- ESPECIALLY IN WASHINGTON POLITICAL CIRCLES. MR. CARLIN'S POPULAR COLLECTION OF HUMOROUS EUPHEMISMS, "BRAIN DROPPINGS," IS NOW IN PAPERBACK. (SIGNED) NEB/KK/NES 25-May-99 11:22 AM EDT (1522 UTC) NNNN Source: Voice of America .